I imagine my age demographic on this blog is older
than 21, so I'm not tossing this out into the dark.
We get more in touch with our taste in men as we
age and luckily we gain wisdom too.
You know there are still young men out there
with coming out issues, body issues, etc. I spent
most of my young life in London or San Francisco
so I was just another wee fag-lette in a gay friendly
city. The community supported me and I loved the
older men and their advise. How to drink, how to
seduce, how to...everything.
Two years ago a young friend confided in me
that he got dumped alot because he was too tight.
He is a prince among men so this was very odd
to me. I bought him a $20 dildo, and gave him
an hour speech about relaxing and making
friends with his behind, and told him to dildo
practice at his own pace. Now he is very happy
indeed, I'm told, and it was thanks to me -
and his lovely boyfriend, of course.
This is a free blog, and it takes my time -
so now it's going to cost you. It's going to cost
you in good deeds to others. We are a community,
sort of a big club actually- some members are bitchy,
some members are hot, and some members
need a tiny bit of your wisdom. Think of it as
"Wisdom Lube - making everything go in easier"
Do it - I expect stories.
16 comments:
Agreed. We love you. Thanks.
Glancing at you 'visitors on the global map' in the upper right corner of this blog, you should get many and varied responses to this thread. I've got some and I'll post it/them soon. Will you have a running thread on this or will we have to find this old link every time? Good Luck! - Montana Cowboy
i love your blog, and that is an excellent philosophy to live by as a gay man, to have a community consciousness, to help each other even if its a little bit
Agreed. i love you blog, 25 year old from miami here,u should write more often.as a young men i always look for info by talking to older men, or fucking them, but bi mostly like to talk.
Okay, so I went into the old guy bar one night just to look around, and I met a 65 year old man, that had just come out. He was lonely and had few gay friends and no lover. Long story short, we met up later and spent time teaching him about the net, he had no clue about the net. There are groups for everyone, EVERYONE! Well after much talking his passion was film. Now he hosts 2 art film nights a month at the museum I work at. After some cajoling he started a little chatty warm up routine and a film suggestion table with a mailing list after the film. That after film table is too funny, they argue, they flirt, and he’s not lonely anymore. I think I helped him.
Rob from San Diego
I'm 19 and love pretty much every guy on your blog!
My boyfriend is a few years older than me and is still (mostly) in the closet. We've been together for over a year and a half.
I've been out since my early teens so, even though I'm not TOO-too experienced, I've taught him pretty much all I know. He seems to be more comfortable with himself and is slowly coming out
We found each other on CL after I posted an ad. So besides helping him out, I'd just like to affirm that you really can find a great guy and a real long-term relationship online. It's a great place to find shy guys who just need a little push in the right direction!
Right on! To say I had a difficult time coming out would be a HUGE understatement. It has definitely been the longest and hardest process of my life. At the very beginning I had a very romantic notion that being gay was like a secret brotherhood where we all helped and supported each other. Of course I'm not nearly so naive now... But have been helped and have helped in return. The first guy I was ever with, thankfully, was such a gentleman. He was totally sympathetic and had great patience with me. I recently tried to do the same for an acquaintance who had recently divorced and was not yet out at all. It all goes around. Have a heart, guys.
I man the phones twice a month at a gay hotline, lots of upset people call in and we calm them down. Does that count?
Let's just start by saying that we are lucky to be gay. Sure it can be painful, sure it's not easy. But it also has it's advantages. We are more likely to be college educated, we travel, we volunteer, and we smell nice. Most importantly, we know what it is like to be outsiders. We can either take that and be the change we want to see, or hide in some closet. Take your choice, but reaching out to help a stranger is one of the finest human experiences ever. Do something for yourself and help someone else! It'll make you feel great. (I volunteer at a soup kitchen every Saturday- hope that counts).
Don't know what happened to my post (I'm not seeing it here right now) but a comment that "it's a nice story but what have you done to help others?" rather surprised me. With 30+ years clean and sober in AA, I can only imagine that the anonymous poster doesn't know how AA works. If the the offering of support to the suffering newcomer (freely given and received), is not proferred on a daily basis, we don't easily stay sober, no matter how long we have been abstinent. In other words, the 12 steps suggest that to stay clean & sober we have to 'pass it on'. The poster who queried what I'd done for others clearly doesn't understand how AA /NA works. And does 42 years as an out gay writer in the entertainment industry whose work - to the quite remarkable detriment of my bank balance, as any out gay man in Hollywood can testify - been consistently and unflaggingly been about LGBT issues, not count as being committed to helping and sustaining gay men in our quest for self-acceptance, pride and happiness? Not to mention my unstinting work on behalf of suffering animals. I suspect I sound scratchy, but it was dismaying to read an 'anonymous' comment by -I think- a much younger man who read my detailed story about meeting my husband and couldn't see that therein I'd practised the very thing our webmaster had suggested.
I am a Vortex Energy Healer here in the city and I'm proud to say that I have made a very substantial contribution to the gay community. The most poignant sorry I have to offer is when an acquaintance I met at a party came for a healing. He told me he was HIV positive. What astonished me was when he told me that he discovered this a week previously. I was touched that with all the doctors and counselors he could have gone to in such a crisis, he chose me as one of the first. It really brought home the profound importance of what I am contributing. I'm proud to say I've helped to heal other gay men as well. Thanks to my healings and the grace of the divine their lives are a little better now. God bless it.
am a regular visitor to your blog. you've got good taste. sorry to be pedantic here, but it's advice not advise(to advise) and seduce, not seduse. also practice, but to practise. i teach english. sorry sorry sorry.
Thanks for the encouragement, buddy!
I am sooo fortunate to be in a relationship with a man that was twice my age when we met. That was 24 years ago. As a bottom, he is very happy that I am tight and faithful. Being together, we have been free to explore our interests and everyone knows we are out and together. I don't hide it at work and neither does he. I see us a good role models for the rest of how the anti-gay crowd that can't deal with happy, well-adjusted and out gay men.
Wisdom Lube huh?
In terms of coming out, the most valuable thing that happened to me was finding a local Levi, Leather bar and discovering that there are multiple flavors of being gay.
I never was a very good queer in the more generic sense of the idea: I hate dancing, I hate dance music, I like hard rock and dumb movies featuring lots of special effects and things that blow up. I like and respect women and had slept with and dated quite a few of them in my attempts to be straight.
Prior to finding that bar, I had been to all of the usual haunts in West Hollywood after recently moving to Los Angeles and I just had no common ground with all of the kinda queeny, very flamboyant and very “out” men that I found there.
I truly felt like a straight guy trapped in a gay mind because I found nothing attractive about any of the more estrogen laden men I had met. All the bars played music I hated and all the men seemed like they were from another planet.
I essentially drank like a fish, bought a lot of gay magazines and learned to love my right hand for the next few years trying to bury my sexuality.
When I turned about 35...actually two days after my 35th birthday – after coming off a two day hangover – I decided to totally reinvent myself.
I quit drinking completely without becoming a part of any 12-step program and I started going to the gym almost every night after work. One night I wondered into a Levi, Leather bar that I had seen many times not all that far away from my house.
I had actually WORKED across form this bar for several years at one point, but had always been a little scared to go into it. One day after going to the gym, I ventured into this place, ordered an O’Douls – non-alcoholic beer and hung out.
I found everyone in this bar to be absolutely wonderful and I became somewhat of a sober regular there. After being there for a while I realized that there were men around that actually acted like “MEN” and who were into some of the things that I was into.
Six months later after having a number of "Safe Adventures" with a number of great men I met there, I met my partner and we’ve been together for twelve years. We were actually married in California before Prop 8 screwed everything up and I’ve never been happier.
Oh….and the other thing about helping younger guys who need to train their holes. I discovered this great stainless steel toy called an NJOY Pure Wand that’s killer to train your sphincter muscles and stimulate your prostate. My partner and I love it and I wish I’d found that toy and leaned how to use a shower shot YEARS AGO to clean out.
I think sex comes pretty naturally if you’re comfortable with yourself and there are plenty of guys who are willing to deal with inexperienced men – even if they’re a little older – like I was- when they come out.
Cheers guys…
i love your blog, and that is an excellent philosophy to live by as a gay man, to have a community consciousness, to help each other even if its a little bit
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